I have to admit that I hesitated before doing this blog. Is it too open and honest I thought? I’ve done it anyway, propelled by the hope to help others who may currently feel caught in a dilemma.
There are no rights or wrongs, and all experiences will be different, however I can only share mine.
As you know, I took redundancy from Shell on 31st December. I was admittedly nervous about my first week, people had advised that I ensure I fill it with purpose. So I did. It’s been a whirlwind of exciting meetings and opportunities since and this is the face of what people see - everyone congratulating me.
There’s another side to it though. I now need to embrace my role as stay at home mum (SAHM). Quite frankly I feel I’m not good at this! To anyone that is a SAHM or SAHD, I always knew it would be the hardest job - but I didn’t expect this.
My kids aren’t jumping for joy at the prospect of me being at home, the older two are used to me being busy with work and are now confused and unsettled with the change
my twins (22 months) are so used to spending time with the Nanny they wonder where she is when they are with me.
I don’t want to make drastic changes to routine incase a return to work is imminent - however that means I’m constantly harbouring a feeling of being indecisive- which is alien to me.
I am not experienced at running a home! Jobs that I’ve always outsourced I now need to learn.
I’m missing my old identity.
I may reflect on this in a few weeks/ months and realise it was just teething pains. I hope so. In the mean time, to those of you with Sunday night blues, preparing for a busy week, an early flight, tough deadlines and wishing things were different - I ask you to challenge yourself, the grass isn’t always greener.
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